Define and Conquer...

This morning I was pleasantly surprised by an email response that I received from Caitlin Doughty; founder of The Order of the Good Death.  I wrote Caitlin two days ago expressing my respect and admiration of her work and also to invite her to be a featured guest on my You Tube channel (which will be launching soon).  Caitlin graciously responded to my email and posed a very interesting yet equally essential question that I have never taken the time to fully answer internally and develop a solid stance.  She simply wrote...

 ”I'd love to hear a little more about your own thoughts on death and what you'd like to do to change how we think." 

Seemingly simple enough right? NO!  After sitting at my desk and pondering over the topic at hand over and over in my mind I managed to conjure up the following response...

“I would be a liar if I said that my feelings and opinions of death are all positive BUT I feel as if those negative feelings and opinions mainly stem from being taught to have an unbalanced perception and relationship with death. I feel as if death in most cases "gets the bad end of the stick" because of an overwhelming level of misrepresentation and plain bad press.  Like most people I do have a certain level of fearful curiosity about death.  I wonder sometimes how I will respond to the loss of a loved one or what my loved ones lives will be like when I die.  I have accepted that death is just as much a part of life as taking my next breath or taking the next step. The results of these actions are as unguaranteed as they are necessary in order to move to the next place or moment.  As a funeral service professional death constantly acts a checks a balances system for my perspective and "keeps me on my toes" so to speak encouraging me to make the most out of life and enjoy as much as I can while I can.”

After sending my response to Caitlin I sat at my desk for about 2 hours and thought about the message that I had sent.  How could it be that I, as a funeral service professional and someone that is so passionate about helping others cope with their experiences with death, has never taken the time to clearly define death for myself?  This has led me to think….

"If I haven’t, then have others? OR have we accepted what we have been taught by the influences of our families, friends, and our society?”

Death and dying are not topics that you will find being discussed over an evening meal in most American homes.  No, those special moments are reserved for  Keeping Up with the Kardashans or reflecting on the highlights from last night’s game. (When what we need to be keeping up with are the games being played with our minds).   This lack of open communication between families about the ever present reality of death  in combination with the media/entertainment industries depiction of death leads to most of our unhealthy thoughts and unbalanced perceptions of death.  YES, the idea of loosing a loved one or dying ones self is a very intimidating and sometimes scary thought but does is have to be? 

 Is there a way to develop a mindset of acceptence and build a trusting relationship with "the shadow of death"?  

Death in my opinion is the ultimate frontier.  It separates us from the past and can remove us from the future.  It draws us in with mystery, allure and emotion while provoking the most intimate of spiritual quest.  How is it then,  that we have been taught to fear this force whose effect has/will affect every living thing in the Universe more than we respect and accept it as part of whom and what we naturally are?  With that being said I invite you to remove the anthropomorphic blind folds that have been placed over our eyes and join me in changing the you view death by clearly developing your own opinions, thoughts, and relationship with death.  

        Be Well and Be Happy   

To learn more about Caitlin and The Order of the Good Death visit her website http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/

 © Joe'l Anthony and The Grave Woman, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Joe'l Anthony and The Grave Woman with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.